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| I feel so incredibly lonely right now.
And there's nothing I want to do about it. | | |
| In a world where rage rages on.
In a place where hatred is our protest.
This is a world where I feel my art must remind us.
Remind us of the beauty that we can sometimes take for granted.
Remind us that fantasy is not a bad thing,
That it can teach us how to believe,
And to hope,
And to give.
And when that day comes where anger no longer lingers,
And spite wanders away,
I shall make something different,
Until a day where the loathing returns.
I bloom. I shrivel.
If I should bloom again,
It will be with pen in hand.
Adamant to the end,
I stand tall.
For now. | | |
| Thank you for putting up with me, my body, my family, my friends for another year.
Despite how at some times it may seem like I don't appreciate you as much as I do, I really honestly and sincerely do.
So thank you for your wonderful quips, your priceless smiles and the unforgettable life lessons you have taught me this year.
Happy Thanksgiving みっな。
| | |
| .. And yet all I can think about are my own problems.
I'm really finding hard to connect with people now a days. It's almost as if I'm slowly losing my humanity and recessing into my own shell. At the same time, it just feels like everyone sees me as an alien whenever I try to let them in to my thoughts. Sometimes I wish I had a friend that I didn't have to be afraid of opening up to. Our society doesn't make us feel good about ourselves, you know. It fact, it makes us feel worse.
I've been doing so many things, it feels like - and yet I still have lots of hours of free time on certain days of the week. My muscles ache because I haven't been exercising. My head hurts because I'm tired and stressed. And my stomach is always killing me nowadays - to a point where I feel like drinking a cup of milk will make me hurl.
This is the side of me that's not doing well.
... But there's still a side of me that keeps thinking - "If you were to die right now, right at this moment - would you be happy with the way you lived?" And if that answer is 'no' - then I get the determination to do something that corrects that, be it telling a family member that you love them or helping someone out on the street.
Alas, these are short bursts of motivation. Atleast they let me know that not all of me is dead just yet.
I don't know which side is winning currently. Which one will be winning tomorrow, or the day after that. And I don't have the motivation to get my goddamn affairs in order.
I'm not going to end this with self pity. I'm stopping that emotion before it gets worse.
This is just an update.
それだけです。 | | |
| Bruised, Beaten,
Tired and blurred vision.
The body is bare,
Stripped to the nerves.
目がおきる。(Open Your Eyes)
The soul burns bright,
So long as you look forward.
あなたのたましは強い。 (Your Soul is Strong)
ほんとうに。(Honest.)
Gaze to the Heavens!
たって, 前にすすめ！ (Stand, and walk forward!)
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I apologize if the grammar is bad - I haven't used Japanese for a long time.. | | |
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